Practicing the Art of Saying ‘No’

Although it’s not technically a thing, I’m going to go ahead and dub this Virgo week. With Mars, Venus and the Sun heading into the earthy sign, it’s only right to learn more about what it means to be this sign. Mercury will be joining them next week.

When I think of Virgo, I think of mastering the art of saying, “no.”

Virgo energy at its peak is able to understand the details, what they’re for and discern from that that isn’t it. It is about being responsible for your own life and taking the steps to bring order, clarity and charge to it.

READ NOW: Get this week’s printable on practicing your “no” techniques.

Before we continue with the tips, a little explainer on the transits for this week. Mars in Virgo will be felt a little harder for those with Aries and Scorpio suns, and of course, Virgo will feel the zap of fire, too. Venus in Virgo might not seem like such a huge departure from its normal energy flow, but this planet is actually in its fall when it’s in Virgo. That means all normal, fluid and glamour energy typical of this planet will seem a little duller and less magnetizing. Taurus peeps, however, might feel a little bit less of this (the earth qualities give it less of an impact for you). Libras, you’re on your own for this one. Try not to force too many projects, poke too many people… and let your air qualities be more grounded. Humility is a good, key word for you with this Virgo entrance.

And speaking of being humble, let’s go with this list:

1. Let go of your sense of perfection. Emphasis on the “your sense” part, because your sense of failure and destruction, could someone else’s survival. It is a sense in that it is a set of standards, beliefs and circumstances that you’ve built to box in your creations, your identity and self. Let go of all those ideals. This Virgo pow-wow is the best energy to challenge yourself to do that. Oh, and our worksheet.

2. Practice Saying ‘No’ to Everything. It becomes easier the more you say it and hear it. Even when you’re denying yourself something. “No, I’m not eating a donut for breakfast” or “No, I’m not staying up late again tonight.” And use our worksheet to practice and remind yourself what the “no” is saying “yes” to instead.

3. Block Off Time for the “Yes” and “No” Things. Each week, take a look at your schedule and block off a day or two of when you’re going to say “yes” and the rest leave as “no.” This will allow you to not feel so guilty about withdrawing from your social life. “Oh, I can’t Thursday, but how about Wednesday?” Just make sure it’s a day you really have no killer commitment or a packed schedule. There’s nothing like a packed up schedule to build up that resentment for committing to something extra.

4. Address Your Resentment. Are you resenting having too much to do, you not having enough time or that you agreed to do something because you wanted to be “nice” about it? It’s important that you know why you’re saying “yes” to something, so that if resentment kicks in, you can remind yourself of it.

There’s this meme going around social about “no” being a sentence, and it’s supposed to encourage those who read it to feel comfortable saying it. Yes, it is, but like all sentences and other phrases we learn and add to our language, we need to let go of wanting perfection and that means embracing feeling bad and practicing saying “no” to anything, really. Then, after that it’s about finding the balance to what we do say “yes” to and “no” and then also addressing the resentment that often kicks in.

 

 

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